Monday, November 28, 2011

Irrational guilt when he's being nice, but still drinking.

Alcoholics usually go through MANY times when they want to be nice......and the acting-out // unavailable behavior just is not there.

And that's when we often start to feel like "why am I such a b*tch...thinking badly of him....thinking he's going to do 'it' again.... and he's been so nice!"

We're forgetting about the progression of the disease, when we think like this.

Even with the BEST of intentions-------- the next drink makes the disease of alcoholism progress forward.

And with that progression, brings more brain damage, more broken promises (that he really DID mean to keep).

That's what A.A. means when it says, "POWERLESS over alcoholism".

OF COURSE you don't feel trusting!
You want to trust the MAN------ but it would be silly to trust his DISEASE.

And the disease is what propels his behavior, his feelings, his abilities, his motivation.

As the disease progresses forward, one can usually expect what a friend described so well---------- "Last year, he was nice 5 days a week and nasty for 2 days a week. This year, it has reversed. He's nice 2 days a week, on average.......and nasty 5 days a week, on average. Nothing in his life has changed------except for the fact that he's been drinking for yet another year."

From Toby Drews, the author of the million-selling "Getting Them Sober'' books, endorsed by 'dear Abby', Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, and Melody Beattie:
phone 410-243-8352

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