"You're always trying to get the perfect husband! Well, I"m not here on earth to try to live up to your idea of what I should be!" -------says the still-drinking alcoholic.
IS wanting him to be sober -- a "perfectionistic" requirement for marriage?
Do you have the RIGHT to demand recovery before you want to return to that marriage?
Let's look at this.
Think back to when you were younger, thinking about future marriage.
What were your dreams about the 'perfect' husband or wife?
Did your list of attributes include "sobriety"?
Did you even consider that a GREAT husband or wife, meant "not passed out"?!
Of course not.
It is not "perfectionist" to want your spouse to be not-un-conscious.
It IS part of the disease of alcoholism coming out of his mouth, for the alcoholic to call you "a perfectionist" when you expect BOTTOM-LINE things ------ like consciousness and breathing -- from your marriage."
----- love to all the families, Toby