Getting Them Sober

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-treatment-programs-1.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/About-Alcohol.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-12-Step-4.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Intoxication.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Causes-of-Alcohol-Abuse.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-Questions.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Introduction-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OxyContin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/contact-us.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/teen-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/about-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Causes-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Alcoholism-Facts.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Cause-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-marijuana.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-prevention.html

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

They take----we give--how'd it get that way?!

When they are always "doing for others in the community"------and hardly ever giving to you-------- it's not for 'others'-----it's to impress others ABOUT THEM-----ABOUT their 'community-mindedness' --------- No need to impress the partner anymore----they're "already in their corner" giving them what they want. (Yes, everyone likes othes to 'think well' of them......but the partner of the alcoholic is usually a person who PRIMARILY likes to help others! THEY help others PRIMARILY to bring the focus on to THEM.)

AGAIN------- cannot say this enough------- the A.A. Big Book (the 'bible' of the A.A. program) says, "the MAIN problem of the alcoholic is his selfishness and self-centeredness" ------

******* A big part of OUR recovery is to INTERNALIZE that truth------- that the MAIN MAIN problem of the alcoholic is his selfishness and self-centeredness.

And OUR main problem is our "give give give" tendency.
WHAT A PAIR!!!!!!! THEY TAKE TOO MUCH AND WE GIVE TOO MUCH--------NO WONDER WE FOUND EACH OTHER!

When I"m training counselors, I bring out a blackboard, and draw a bell-curve on it. At one end of the curve, I write "the heart of the disease is the alcoholic blames the family member and the family takes that blame"..... at the other end of the curve, I write, "the heart of the recovery is that the alcoholic CONSISTENTLY enjoys nurturing and giving to the family------and the family member CONSISTENTLY enjoys the nurturing and takes it in with no guilt."

What happens, often, when the family member starts the pattern of 'consistently giving less to the alcoholic------ and giving to herself more, instead'?

When I'm counseling a family member, I 'listen' for the clues that get told to me as little phrases ------ "for Christmas, I got him new seatcovers for his station wagon" It set her back hundreds of dollars.
In spite of his lovey-dovey words that accompanied his gifts to her, they cost him way less than half of what she spent.

When I question the details of their time together, in terms of finances, what she spends-------most of the time--------- adds up to much more than what he does.

She did not intend for it to be like that. It did not start out that way. It 'just happened'.

This happens to most of us-------- we NEVER start out that way.

We WOULD NOT have started out that way.

We just slowly get 'used to' that way of being with them.

They snooker us and fool us with WORDS------- but their ACTIONS------- INCLUDING THEIR FINANCIAL ACTIONS----- are VERY different from their words.

The "I love you's" do indeed come out their mouths with a very big price tag (LITERALLY)..... love to all, Toby------P.S.
a.) not all alcoholics are like that----- others have non-financial ways of getting to us.
b.) Many have SEVERAL ways of 'getting to us'. But they ALL have 'ways' of 'getting to us'. As I wrote in the books, we can sit in a circle, and pass our alcoholics over to the person on our right. And within 15 minutes, he'll find out HER achilles-heel-------her vulnerabilities------- and "do it" to her in ways that get to HER.

c.) And-----it's not that they are so smart-------THEIR DISEASE IS SMART------- as the Big Book of A.A. says, ALCOHOLISM (not the alcoholic) is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I have shopping bags of letters from family members around the world, who told me that THEIR alcoholic said "those words you wrote" in THEIR language-----IN THE SAME WORDS.

The more WE fall into the ILLUSION that it's THEM who's "so smart" about snookering us------ the longer it will take for us to recover from the effects of their disease. Remembering that it is the DISEASE that is so smart about fooling us------NOT HIM------ BRINGS HIM BACK DOWN TO RIGHT-SIZED. NOT TIN-GOD SIZED.

More Topics:

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-Questions.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drugs-Alcohol-Recovery.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Vicious-One-Two-Punch.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-detox-3.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-treatment-3.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-12-Step-5.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-AA-1.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Rehab.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Teens-2.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-Addiction-Statistics.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-blog.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/effects-of-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-treatment.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Introduction-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OxyContin-Drug-Addiction.html

Monday, July 25, 2011

When we feel SO very trapped!

When all we can do is feel bad//go to work// and see no end to it.........

a. his disease WILL progress as long as he is drinking......and even though this sounds awful-------- things will change because the disease progresses-----and he will either die or go totally insane and wind up in an institution because he will have no memory and know no one, including himself. Believe me, it is so true that so many of us almost look forward to this--------NOT because we don't love them.

But because we feel we cannot go through this forever. We feel it MUST resolve.

(I realize that many people will think "Oh my.... what a thing to write about....... his death might make us feel relief". I wrote this because it IS what many thinK-----and are SO ashamed for thinking it. We NEED to give VOICE to what we REALLY feel........so we get over the shame of feeling it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR FEELINGS. Most people have terrible 'wish' feelings about others, at different times in their lives. Feeling something is normal.... we don't act on it, of course...... but feelings are just feelings. When a little child's parent dies, if the child is in counseling, the counselor will usually quickly reassure the child that if he had thoughts before the parent died, of wanting the parent to die, that it did not create the death. Thoughts don't do that. Thinking so is called "magical thinking". When we've been abused as children, we often, in our healing, find that we need to deal with those leftover irrational pieces of our dysfunctional childhoods------including the irrational guilt for having 'magical thinking'.)

b. MANY OF THEM-------OUT OF THE BLUE------DO RECOVER. And MOST of them do recovery JUST WHEN WE TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY THINK THERE IS NO CHANCE OF IT.

c. Yes------- we often post here, that we hate them. But most of us who are still with them (and that is MOST of us) OF COURSE want them to stop drinking and recover------EVEN THOUGH WE OF COURSE HATE THEM A LOT-----WHO WOULD NOT? THE WAY WE ARE TREATED, THEY ARE LUCKY WE ONLY JUST HATE THEM!.

d. MOST of them who go to A.A. and recovery DO become nicer. Even though of course there are alcoholics who are still rotten even when sober------THAT IS NOT MOST OF THEM.

e. And what do we do MEANWHILE?

1. one of the first things to do is to STOP FEELING EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED OF FEELING FROZEN WITH FEAR AND NOT-KNOWING WHAT TO DO. Start, instead, to ACCEPT where you are, right now. Does that mean that you might need some anti-depressants, for awhile? THAT IS A VERY INDIVIDUAL MATTER AND NEEDS ONLY TO BE DISCUSSED WITH A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, IN PERSON. THAT IS NOT A MATTER OF THIS OR ANY OTHER INTERNET BOARD TO MAKE THAT DECISION FOR YOU.

What else goes on around this 'self acceptance'? Almost all of us-------when feeling "inert" ----- "frozen" with fear around taking an action------ CAN start with a small small step

-------AFTER FIRST accepting oneself that one cannot make any step at all.

There is something paradoxical and very empowering over oneself, when one FIRST accepts oneself------with ALL our warts.... and with NO SHAME ABOUT ANY OF THEM.

After all, God accepts us-------who in the world should ANYONE else have the right to judge us? ........... love to all, Toby (P.S...... Please see the other post I made today ------ called "can't leave----can't stay" ----- it is similar, in that it deals with when we feel so awful with either choice----staying in the relationship OR leaving it).

More topics:

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/symptoms-of-alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Causes-of-Alcohol-Abuse.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-Questions.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drugs-Alcohol-Recovery.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Vicious-One-Two-Punch.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-detox-3.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-treatment-3.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-12-Step-5.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Introduction-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OxyContin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/contact-us.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/teen-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/about-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Causes-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Alcoholism-Facts.html

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Can't leave--can't stay

WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO "WORK YOUR FAMILY RECOVERY PROGRAM" and TRYING VERY HARD TO DETACH FROM THE DISEASE and TRYING TO STAY IN THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DRINKING-ALCOHOLIC SPOUSE -- but YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO SO BECAUSE HE/SHE IS SO VERBALLY ABUSIVE TO YOU, SO OFTEN --------

There is nothing in 12-step family-recovery programs that says one must stay or one must leave, but there is often pressure from some ministers or therapists or family or in-laws that says loud and clear to you, either "Get out!" or "Make your marriage work!"

But most of us get married to stay married, so we try and we try and we try. And there is something about people who marry alcoholics -- most of us are so very loyal -- we'd be the kinds of people to volunteer to go down with the Titanic.... or beat ourselves up for decades afterwards if we survived, asking, "DID I do enough?!"

And what makes it worse for us -- often more than many other variables -- is something that we are usually not even aware of when we are going through the mental gyrations about it.
And that is this -- we compare our recovery path to the recovery path of others.

For instance, Sue, Carol, and Jane (fictitious names) are in Al-Anon. Sue is 34, a CPA, has one child in school, and parents who are very supportive in every way. Carol is 46 years old, has 2 kids in college; she's an operating-room nurse. They are both in Al-Anon and therapy for several years, and both have decided to leave their spouses.

Jane is 63 years old, has never worked outside the home, has one child living 3,000 miles away who left home many years ago, who hates Jane's alcoholic husband and is disgusted with Jane for "putting up with it". Jane's husband has never hit her, but has verbally-abusive outbursts several times a week. Jane has been going to Al-Anon 4 months.

She's learned to detach -- to emotionally and/or physically remove herself from the situation when he acts up -- a little bit since she's been in recovery. She can't imagine staying in the marriage long enough to learn to detach enough to stay with her spouse. She can't imagine how it will make a difference, even if she internalizes the process by which this recovery process work. She just thinks her husband is hopeless and even if she gets better, she figures that he won't.

And she does not want to stay in a marriage where she gets better, and he just acts out worse towards her.

But she can't imagine leaving.

She feels like she's "between a rock and a hard place".

What Jane is not yet realizing is that as she gives the program "time" -- as she gets healthier in recovery -- she will get strength in her emotional-muscles that she cannot yet even imagine is inside of her, waiting to come out. And those emotional muscles will work together with the spiritual strength that will also grow in her, to help her to get through whatever choices she will make.... and the combination will be so strong in ways that she cannot yet imagine...... and it will eventually be so much easier to stay or leave, whichever she will choose.

And the Promise in the 12-steps that says "We will come to know that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves" will come to happen for her. She just needs to "keep coming back" to meetings and let the program wash on over her.

More Topics:

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholic.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-12.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-5.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-6.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-9.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Christian-Treatment-1.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Diabetes-and-Alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-and-Depression.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/effects-of-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-treatment.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Introduction-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OxyContin-Drug-Addiction.html

Friday, July 22, 2011

MORE INFORMATION ADDED--"It's hard to lose an alcoholic

Most family members//partners of alcoholics, find that even though they THOUGHT "he'd never come back again"------ he does!

But so often, when we read that "it's hard to lose an alcoholic'-----and if we still want him to come back-----and if he has not yet done so---- we feel frustrated ----- when the alcoholic that we are with, does not seem to fit in the pattern of "they come back to us".

But what did I actually write?

a.) I wrote in the books that "it's hard to lose an alcoholic"...(you can read a chapter on this -----in the "DOZENS of GTS book excerpts" section on this website. Just click-on the chapters in the "Getting Them Sober, volume 4" book-----and scroll-down------it's Chapter 3. Feel free to print it out and make copies ----of that chapter or any of the chapters from that section of the website.)

BUT I also wrote that MOST ----NOT ALL------ COME BACK TO US.

OF COURSE there will be some who do not.
No one particular pattern fits all alcoholics.

But----read on------"it ain't over til the heavyset lady sings" -----

b.) What I also wrote---ABOUT THE 'WHEN' OF WHEN THEY COME BACK---- is that you/he can "get divorced'----'remarried to someone else'------AND THEN HE STILL WILL PROBABLY SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR, YEARS LATER.

I did NOT say that they come back after a short time separated....nor did I say that they come back after being with one other woman or two or three of them.

Again----what I said was -------- "you (or he) can marry//get divorced//re-marry//etc etc......and he'll probably show up again, at the door, like nothing happened, and say, "Hi babe.....how ya doing?!"--------YEARS LATER.

I repeat this here, because we OF COURSE get so upset, that we need to hear, over and over, the facts of this disease------the PATTERNS that most of us can expect.
We often need to hear the patterns over and over, so that we can pretty much know what is happening-------and what we can usually expect.

THAT is the pattern that often happens......the pattern of He'll Probably Show up again------- as if nothing happened.

**** IMPORTANT------ Almost NONE of the family members that I've counseled over the years, agrees with me that "he'll almost assuredly be back!" ------ they say things like, "Oh, he's happy with that new girl he met in the bar" or "He won't even speak to me......whaddaya mean he'll be back".

And almost ALL of them call me months or years later------and say, "I CAN'T believe it! He showed up!

WE------- because we're "not them"------ look at things with not-boozed-up brains. THEY think nothing of it that they left us// didn't pay child support// took up with a youngster AND her sister// and then shows up like nothing happened!

So-----it's "easy" for them to 'show up again'.

Half the time, they don't even remember everything they did-------or everyone they lived with!

c.) I also wrote that they MOSTLY only show up WHEN WE DON'T WANT THEM ANYMORE ------------ OR WHEN WE ARE RIGHT ON THE VERGE OF NOT WANTING THEM ANYMORE.

******* What frustrates US so much (understandably) is that when we DO want them still------------- they do not YET show up.

WHY? Probably because even their RADAR is self-centered!

Probably their radar 'knows' that they STILL have us "in their back pocket" TO SOME DEGREE-------and therefore, they think they don't have to "do any work" to get us back AGAIN. This seems to be at least one of the reasons that they 'take their time' to show up again............ awful awful disease of self-centered alcoholism.......... much love to all, Toby

More Topics:

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/symptoms-of-alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Intoxication.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Causes-of-Alcohol-Abuse.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-Questions.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drugs-Alcohol-Recovery.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Vicious-One-Two-Punch.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-Addiction-Statistics.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-blog.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/effects-of-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-treatment.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Scans showing brain damage due to alcoholism

If you do a google search for a website --- "amen clinic" --- and go through that site (it is a large website), you will come across a page that has scans of brains that have been damaged by alcoholism. Very good information.
That website is mostly well-respected, but there are some persons who object to the website------not objections about the truth about alcoholism and what it does to the brain, however. The objections are about Dr. Amen's recommendations about what to do about various (other than alcoholism) brain disorders.
But to use the website just to find out what the brain looks like, due to a constant barrage of alcohol for years------it is invaluable.

Friday, July 15, 2011

What pain rx docs give to little children

I remember, when I was around 5 years old, getting my tonsils out. There was no pain medication afterwards------just the admonition to my parents, to "give her lots of ice cream".
Yes, my throat was sore------but the thought of ice cream was yum (and the idea of "as much as you want!" helped my spirits and speeded my healing, I am sure!) -------and the application of that cold ice cream did wonders for any pain-----which quickly disappeared.
Well, was talking with a friend, whose child had tonsils out------and was given a pain med that was described to me, as "one step below oxycontin". (hope I spelled it ok).
My friend, a mental-health professional, was concerned about the doc having told the parents to give it full strength for days-------and the parents cut the drug in half, and saw that the pain was indeed not there.

Now, leaving the situation of my friend---------My question is, are docs asking questions about family history of addiction before prescribing to anyone, including children? I doubt it. If one goes to an emergency room, and sits there for hours (of course)------ and listens carefully------you'll hear the whole verbal transaction in the next bed (with only a curtain separating you). Usually, there is NO questioning of family history of alcoholism or any other drug addiction. Addictive pain meds are given out like jelly beans.

What my wondering is------- we ask ourselves, as a nation (and a world), "how is it that addiction is increasing SO MUCH?"

My guess is, that one part of it, is the fact that children are prescribed perhaps, at times, medications that might be substituted for, when there is alcoholism/addiction in the family. OF COURSE, this is not necessarily true all the time. And only a physician can determine this. No one else. However, it is a question that might be posed to a doctor in some situations where it is appropriate to ask.

(Remember---the liver is not fully formed until a person is 19 years old. Addiction happens SO much more quickly in young people, when there is addiction already in the family.)

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/About-Time.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholic.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-12.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-5.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-6.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-step-9.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Christian-Treatment-1.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Diabetes-and-Alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Drug-Alcoholism-and-Depression.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-intervention.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Introduction-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OxyContin-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/contact-us.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/teen-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/about-drug-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Causes-of-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Alcoholism-Facts.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Cause-of-Drug-Addiction.html

Monday, July 11, 2011

When an alcoholic ENJOYS hurting others.

If an alcoholic ENJOYS hurting people and animals, then often------not necessarily always-----but often------ it indicates that there is also "another problem" in addition to the alcoholism.

Alcoholics usually hurt others because they are selfish and self-centered. They do NOT usually want to get caught. They do NOT usually ENJOY watching the faces of their families after they have once again, hurt them.

If a person--------alcoholic or not-------- ENJOYS hurting others----- there is usually another psychiatric disorder involved.

(The percentage of persons with "other psychiatric disorders" in the alcoholic population is roughly the same as in the non-alcoholic population. It may SEEM as if it might be higher-----but that is because when they are acting-out, they SEEM as if they are "larger than life"------and 'come off' as powerful and as if there are "more of them".)

THIS POSTING IS NOT AN EVALUATION OF ANY PARTICULAR PERSON (OBVIOUSLY) ........ The anonymous nature of the internet does NOT allow for ANY kind of psychiatric evaluation. That requires a one-to-one interaction, with full history-taking.

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/symptoms-of-alcoholism.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/women_and_alcoholism.html

http://gettingthemsober.com

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-intervention.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-recovery-now.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-treatment.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Marriage.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcohol-Abuse-Stories.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-addiction.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Detox.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Warning-Signs.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Physical-Symptoms.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Stages-of-Alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Treatment-for-Alcoholism.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Signs.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/alcoholism-stories.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Addiction-Treatment.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcoholism-Books.html

http://www.alcoholism-support.org/Alcohol-Poisoning.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/drug-addiction-reasons.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/site-search.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-Addiction-Questions-II1.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-Addiction-Recovery-2.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-addiction-stories-6.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Painkiller-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Treatment-For-Drug-Addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/LSD-Addiction-Stories.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/OXYCOTTON-Addiction-Symptoms.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/heroin-addiction.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Drug-Addiction-Questions-II3.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Rapid-Detox.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Suboxone-Addiction-Treatment.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Valium-Abuse-Facts.html

http://www.drug-addiction-support.org/Heroin-Addiction-Intervention.html

Friday, July 8, 2011

Toxic-brain-damage is what's coming out their mouths

Al-Anon says, "it's the disease talking".

What, specifically, does that mean?

Brain damage in the alcoholic is not only "falling down drunk" or liver disease.

Their brains are toxic.

The left frontal lobe of the brain is euphemistically called "the Executive Decision Maker".

That means that it decides what we will do, what we will say, how we will perceive things in life that happen, how we will judge what is appropriate and what is not appropriate.

That of course does not totally take away the sting when the junk comes out their mouths.

But trying to internalize the facts about alcoholism------that it REALLY is a toxic-brain problem ------- for THAT is what determines their behaviors ----- WILL help to not devastate us near as much as they would like it to........ much love to all, Toby

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcohol-and-health.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/alcoholism-recovery.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/children-of-alcoholics.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/dysfunctional-families.html

http://gettingthemsober.com/effects-of-alcohol.html